Chinese Buffets: Spawn of Satan?

I realize that I have not posted on my blog for nearly 2 months. I ask myself why, and it occurred to me that I just didn't have much to talk about. It also occurred to me that I am completely unaware as to how many people actually read my blog. I know that I read it, and Linzy reads it, and Lisa reads it. Other than that, I'm not quite sure anybody reads it. I get reports but I honestly don't look at those and I'm not sure how much to trust them anyways. But knowing that Linzy and Lisa read it should be enough to motivate me. So I'll try to remember to post more often and not be lazy. With that in mind, I want to mention how Chinese buffets are the spawn of Satan. I had the pleasure of spending time with one of my two readers this past weekend and among our festivities we attended the Great Wall Buffet in Ft. Wayne, IN. Our biggest concern was finding sushi because we both enjoy the occasional spicy tuna roll among other savory raw delights. Much to our chagrin, every quality sushi restaurant in Ft. Wayne was closed until 4 o'clock on Sundays. But we wanted sushi and we wanted it NOW! Not to mention Linzy's flight took off at 3:55 PM. Leaving us -5 minutes to partake of any quality sushi in Ft. Wayne (that's not including check-in and boarding time which adds up to approximately -95 minutes...oh, and eating time which brings us to a grand total of -155 minutes - and that's pushin' it). So we called several Chinese buffets in Ft. Wayne to see if they served sushi. We found one, reluctantly attended the cow troff (as Linzy so eloquently put it), complained about how terrible the sushi was (it was really, really bad), then went about our merry little way. I refer to Chinese buffets as the "spawn of Satan" not only because of their terrible sushi, but also because of the way they make me feel. Not just physically due to the unconscious overeating, but also emotionally and mentally. Looking around at the plethora of people stuffing their faces with MSG, fat, carbs, sugar, grease, oil, and deep fried fish heads, it made me feel like I was a part of something evil. Something unstoppable. It made me feel like we were all being roped into something that was inevitably going to take over the world. The way this place ran was almost like a factory. Like our mouths were part of an assembly line. Get 'em in, fill 'em up, get 'em out. Get 'em in, fill 'em up, get 'em out. Get 'em in, fill 'em up, get 'em out. Disturbing. Needless to say, I will not be jumping at the opportunity to attend any Chinese buffets anytime soon. Perhaps they should make a sequel to "Super Size Me" focusing on the terror that is the chinese buffet. Anybody have any clever names for it? Perhaps "Super Chinese Me" or "Super -> Insert Chinese Lettering Spelling out the word 'Size' <- Me".