Memphis

I'm going to Memphis this weekend for the UPTA auditions. More info about them here. Basically, they are a unified mass audition where about 70 companies show up and about 800 (?? that's a guess) people audition for them. Then the companies have callbacks through out the weekend if they are interested in any of the performers.

This will be the third time that I have attended UPTAs. I actually have never gone as a performer. As a matter of fact, the only "mass" audition that I have ever attended as a performer was the OTA auditions in Columbus, OH. Those auditions have since moved out to Cambridge, OH. More on that later. Everytime I have gone to UPTAs it has been as a music director. So, essentially, I help the company I'm working for cast their current season.

The audition process can be somewhat grueling. Both for the performer and the person watching the auditions. Each performer has 90 seconds to give us their best. They can choose to do either a song and a monologue or two monologues. Although I have known many people who have done 2 songs or a monologue and 2 songs. Heck, I'm sure there have even been people crazy enough to attempt three songs. Regardless of the rules, they do what they want and they have 90 seconds to do it. There is a time keeper. The time keeper generally stands with about 10 seconds remaining so that the performer knows to "wrap it up". One rule of thumb at UPTAs: DO NOT EVER GO OVER THE 90 SECONDS. EVER. It will blacklist you. "Producers" (fancy word for the people watching the auditions, most of whom are not actual producers) will go so far as to blacklist performers who go over the 90 seconds, regardless of how talented they might have been. Their thought process basically goes that a performer should practice their audition so many times they know, without a doubt, that their audition is 90 seconds or less. I suppose I agree with that statement. You honestly can tell if you are going to be interested in someone with probably about 25 seconds of audition material. Possibly less. The actual "AUDITION" is going to happen in your callback. That is where the "producer" can see more and determine whether they want to hire you or not. Many producers merely hire based on a performers resume, looks and presence and can they carry a tune. This can all be determined in 25 seconds. Easy.

The grueling part for the performers is just the nerve wracking experience of it all. Stressing out about whether or not your audition is too long, are you wearing the right clothes, how hard is the dance call going to be, what if I forget the words, what if I can't make it to all my callbacks and where the hell are the callbacks anyways??!! The grueling part for the producers is, well, most of the performers really just aren't that good. Try sitting through hundreds of auditions where the performer is less than stellar, can't carry a tune or hold a pitch, forgets their words, is wearing a hideous dress, or bombs their monologue. It get's tedious and exhausting. I've known companies who have gone to the OTA auditions and not called a single person back. NOT ONE! Granted, there aren't nearly the amount of auditioners at OTA that there are at UPTA and the quality at OTA is even worse than UPTA, but still...none?? Crazy.

But at the end of the day, when all is said and done, UPTAs can be quite a fun experience. It's almost to the point where it's not only an audition but it's also a family reunion of sorts. I will be rejoined with dozens of old friends and acquaintances this weekend. I'm very excited about that. It's always so nice to reconnect. I'm wishing all of them the best this weekend during their audition too. I'm also sending good vibes to all those producers who have to sit through the auditions. God speed. I know what it's like.