God Bless Us Every One

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

-Travis

Harry Potter Puppets

Pretty funny stuff, especially when you get towards the end.

The Magic of Editing

Several years ago I had the privilege of watching a recut trailer for Sound of Music that made it come across as a horror movie. It was brilliant. I couldn't find that particular trailer on youtube (there were a couple knock offs), but I did find these that are equally amusing.

Mary Poppins as a Horror Movie



The Shining as a Romantic Comedy (my personal favorite)

So True

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine and beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service.

Lake Geneva

So I'm currently working in Wisconsin at a resort called Grand Geneva. It's a beautiful resort with a spa, ski facilities, beautiful lodging, and an awesome indoor swimming facility. If you want to check it out go to www.grandgeneva.com. I'm playing piano for their Christmas Show: Hooray for Holidays! The resort also has several restaurants including an Italian restaurant that is apparently very, very exquisite. I will try to document some of my experiences here on the blog. The people are all very nice here and the show is coming along nicely. So wish me luck and I hope all of you are doing interesting and entertaining things as well.

Chicken Recipe

Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing. Imagine that! When I found it, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.

BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN

6-7 lb. chicken
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (Orville Redenbacher's Low
Fat) Salt/pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn.

Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.

Listen for the popping sounds. When the chicken's ass blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room, it's done.

McDonalds Monopoly

How ingenious is this concept anyways? Whoever came up with the idea of playing monopoly by buying a large fries and drink should be punished. It is addicting and cruel. I don't like McDonalds. I don't like their food and I think they are one of the primary sources of obesity and lack-of-health in this country. Yet, I still find myself going to McDonalds to play Monopoly. I really could use a million dollars. I sat down and realized that if I put 1 million dollars in a CD worth 5 percent, I would earn 50,000 dollars a year in interest. I would never have to work again. I could just live off of the interest. I would still probably work, but it would be nice to know I didn't have to if I didn't want to. Plus if a boss pissed me off at work I could just tell them off and not worry about losing my job. Now they have the online version of Monopoly which is equally as cruel. They really have perfected ways on getting people to come back and play more. Park Place is one of the easiest pieces to acquire. But Boardwalk is virtually impossible because it is worth a million. Some people out there probably don't realize that, so they just keep coming back to McDonalds thinking they just lucked out by getting Park Place and they are going to be equally as luck at getting Boardwalk. I'm one of those idiots. Ugh. I hate McDonalds. I'm convinced the online game is rigged as well. They make you think you are going to win certain properties but you never will. By the way, here are the "hard" pieces to get:

Boardwalk-
Pennsylvania Ave-
Ventnor Ave-
Kentucky Ave-
Tennessee Ave-
Virginia Ave-
Vermont Ave-
Mediterranean Ave-

And "Short Line" has always been the winning railroad piece!!

If you haven't started playing it yet...DON'T. It's unhealthy and a waste of time and money. But most importantly: It's ADDICTING!

By the way...

Don't you love how youtube takes videos down due to infringement only to be put back up by someone else later that day. Why do they even bother? This video was taken down so the old link (from a blog I did a few weeks ago) doesn't work so I'm reposting it again because it is so worthy. Do watch the bonus vids as well:




BONUS:



Another Bonus:

Who Am I?

I never make mistakes. I thought I did once, but I was mistaken.

I'm still here.

Things are going well here on the farm. We opened our show this week to a sold out crowd and they responded well. Our second show received a standing ovation (for Bearcreek that is quite an accomplishment because most of the patrons can't stand very well seeing how they are usually 70+) and last night we performed to another sold out audience including my parents. If anyone is interested in coming to the show let me know. I may be able to score some comp tickets. Other things have been going well. I'm going through that post rehearsal depression where I realize I have nothing to do but think about my life. Haha. No, but seriously, I'm great and I just need to find things to occupy my time. I'd like to start a myspace music page and write a few songs to put up on it. If anybody has any good lyrics let me know. I'm not much of a lyricist. I hope all is well with whoever reads this and leave me some comments to let me know how things are going with you!

Too funny

Here I Am.

So while most of my readers are enjoying basking in the sun next to their beach house, I am back at Bearcreek farms enjoying the relaxing sting of the mosquitos and the pleasant aroma of manure. I arrived here a couple days ago and have managed to go to the bar both nights I've been here. I am indifferent about being back here. I'm glad to see old faces that are happy to see me back but on the flip side I didn't really see myself coming back here so soon. I think the show will be fun though and I'm looking forward to putting it up. I'll keep you posted as much as possible on the progress and if any fun stories pop up! Hope all you beach heads are having a fab time!!! Miss you!

Job Time

Just so everyone is aware, this is what I'll be doing for the next few weeks:



For those of you who are a little confused, I'm going to play piano for a show called Sisters of Swing. I'm also a character in the show with a few lines. It should be interesting. The show is about the lives of the Andrews Sisters. Normally, I'd be music directing but I opted out for this one. I'm leaving on Monday and I won't be done until around Nov. 7. I won't have internet where I'm going except when I go into town to use the wireless at the coffee shop. Hence, I won't be updating my blog as much. I'm sorry! But I will try to update as much as I can and I hope that all of my 5 readers update their blogs as well. I might get dial up just to satisfy my cravings but I'm not sure yet.

Two new things to watch that start with D.

Dexter - If you haven't heard of it, it's a show on Showtime about a serial killer. If I tell you any more about it then I'd be ruining things. It's clever. One of those shows that you watch and think, "who comes up with this stuff?". It could probably be funnier. It has its humerous moments but oftentimes it seems to miss the "dark humor" it could be embracing. That aside, it's a great show and one that should not be missed. Bonus: it has Julie Benz (Darla) in it from Joss Whedon's Buffy and Angel series.

Death At A Funeral - This is a film that was released a few weeks ago and hardly made a blemish on the sales chart. The sad thing is that it should have. It's an hysterical British comedy about a group of people who attend a funeral where things (naturally!) start going wrong. It's farce with some dark humor. I've noticed, however, that many people did NOT like this film. It seems to be an "either you hate it or love it" sort of movie. I loved it! Bonus: it has Alan Tudyk (Wash) in it from Joss Whedon's Firefly series.

My name has been immortalized.

So I just watched an episode of South Park and there was a character on the show named Travis! It just so happens that the character was also a louse. Now, while I have always dreamed of being a member of the lice community, I never imagined in a million years that it would actually happen. Such an honor this is. Here is a clip of me and my egg-baby being rescued from a dangerous environment (aka RID soaked boy scalp) and delivered to a much safer and comfortable habitat.

Update

Ok, so apparently the brother, who was mentioned in the post "It's a Sad Day", took it upon himself to shoot the pit bull because it was violent. Jeez, I really don't know how I feel about that. Is that even legal? It's good that the dog can't harm anything or anyone any more but was it really necessary to end its life? Couldn't they just give it to someone who was in need of a guard dog or something? The whole situation is just so frustrating and sad.

WTF?

By the way, this is my 30th post in less than 30 days! All you other bloggers (except Michael) suck.

It's a sad day.

So my brother was babysitting this dog for awhile and it was the cutest little chihuahua. Its name was Roxy. The dog belonged to my sister-in-law's brother. I'm not sure why they were watching it but I think it had something to do with her brother moving. So they were watching the dog for a few weeks and they eventually gave the dog back to her brother. Well, apparently the dog was eaten by the brother's other dog - a pit bull. Now, the thing that really pisses me off (besides the fact that this dog was really cute and sweet) is that nobody thought that a pit bull probably wasn't compatible with a chihuahua. It really infuriated me. It also saddened me. It also worries me a little because my nieces could be the next victim of the pit bull. This post is a shout out to everyone out there that dogs can be sweet but pit bulls and chihuahuas are NOT COMPATIBLE animals. Alas, may Roxy rest in peace.

Tribute to Ana Gasteyer

Singing "The Stuff" from Reefer Madness




Singing "Defying Gravity" from Wicked





Longer version of Defying Gravity

One More Thing

Whose idea was it to spell the word gauge "g-a-u-g-e"? Should it just be spelled g-a-g-e? That's how it's pronounced. Also, if I were to say "I want to gauge your eye out with a spoon!", is it still spelled g-a-u-g-e? No wonder English is such a difficult language to learn. Sheesh!

Mickey Rooney...

is really really old. That is all.

The Brilliance That Is The Simpsons

Tonight I was watching an episode of The Simpsons on Fox. There was a scene where the family was walking through Chinatown and they walked past a store in the background called "Toys 'L' Us". It took me a minute to figure it out but once I did it was very funny. I love that The Simpsons is totally oblivious to political correctness. It's no wonder that it is entering it's 19th season. Keep the D'ohs, Eeexcellents, Ha Has, and Eat My Shorts comin'!

Labor Day

Why is it called labor day when everybody has the day off from work? They should call it No Labor Day. Whatever.

On that note, here are some Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey:

Deep 1

Deep 2

Deep 3

Deep 4

Deep 5

Proof is in the pudding

In case you don't believe me (although I'm sure you all do), here are two articles from the Columbus Dispatch archives concerning the incident at Universal Studios. You can't actually click on the articles (unless you want to pay money) but you can at least read the first couple paragraphs. You also need to have an account. There are four articles on the page but only the last 2 apply. I was also wrong about a couple of things in the previous post...hey, I can't remember everything perfectly! Apparently 2 people were arrested at the theme park and we went to Macy's parade the next year (not the Rose Bowl, which must have been the year after that). But it says that 45 students admitted stealing. 45! That's crazy.

Articles

Florida's Most Wanted

It was a cool winter's day in Florida. We had just had a full day of excitement exploring the inner workings of one Universal Studios Florida. In a couple of days we would be marching in form down the main drag of Miami in celebration of the Orange Bowl. We were the Pickerington Marching Tigers. A fairly large band, clocking in at almost 300 members. I belonged to the trumpet section. Not the dorkiest section, that honor went to the saxophones (sorry guys), but we weren't as cool as the D.E.A.D.S (do everything as a drum section) either.

The band had a fairly great reputation, having been involved in several renowned parades (Macys, Rose Bowl, Miss American, etc), having played professional football games and accomplishing superior ratings at state competitions several years in a row. That was why what happened on that cool night in Florida shocked an entire city and made the band the laughing stock of an entire nation.

It was the end of the night. We were tired. I found myself exhausted after waiting in such long lines to ride rides that I had already been on before a couple years earlier. E.T. said my name, Doc Brown took me on another crazy time travel affair, the Ghostbusters got slimed. It was your typical day at Universal Studios. The night was over and we all boarded the coach that would take us back to our hotel. We waited and waited...and waited. Why weren't we leaving? Some of the band members weren't back yet. Something felt strange. Many of the students started whispering into each others ears while the others played non-alcoholic drinking games at the back of the bus. But there was definitely something wrong and we all knew it. There were bright red and blue lights coming from the distance. The police had arrived. What were they doing here? We saw them from the window of our bus talking to the directors. I wanted to go back to the hotel but worry started to consume me.

One of the directors came on the bus. He looked at us for a second, his gaze was somewhat abashing. Maybe he was trying to figure out the best way to say what he was about to say. Then he spoke. "You are all probably wondering why the police are here. Apparently, there have been some sticky fingers and they were caught on tape and they are members of the band. They were caught shoplifting from the stores inside the theme park. We have to wait here until all the matters have been settled."

Drama.

I knew that I was not involved in this petty crime but I had to sit there and endure some of the consequences. Naturally, the second those words came from his mouth we all started wondering who the culprits were. Names floated around, names that have since been forgotten, but at the time it was so scandalous. Were we going to be able to march in the parade? Did we all have to return home?

We did finish our trip to Florida. We marched in the parade. It was hot. We found out that Universal Studios was not going to press charges but they wanted as much of the merchandise back as possible. When we returned the entire band was called into a meeting where the directors passed out a small piece of paper to every student and proceeded to ask them to write "yes" or "no" after answering the question "Did you steal from the theme park?" They told us to be responsible for our actions. They claimed to already know who most of the thieves were, but they wanted to see if we would confess our own guilt. That was probably a lie. I remember writing "NO!" with and exclamation point and then scribbled it out and just wrote "NO". I figured the exclamation point was too much...it seemed almost rude. Regardless, several of the students admitted to the offense and were punished by having to serve group detention for several days. It seemed like they were getting away with murder.

The band did end up recovering from the embarrassing blow. Right after it happened we were all over the media. I was told that the directors wanted to keep it under wraps as much as possible but unfortunately word spread, and word spread fast. There was even a night where Jay Leno joked about it on The Tonight Show. During his opening stand up routine he talked about the band stealing from the theme park and said that "it gives a whole new meaning to the band taking the field." But within a a few weeks we stopped hearing the insults from other students and our name was no longer in the media. The next year we were on our way to the Rose Bowl. We had recuperated.

That was 13 years ago. Today the marching band has split due to the construction of a new high school. I think both bands are around 150 members. I don't think that either of them are the powerhouse that we once were when I was in high school but they are still good bands. I wonder if there are still stories floating around amongst them about the year the band stole merchandise from Universal Studios. I wonder if there have been embellishments such as students having to serve prison time or students being expelled from school. It would be interesting to find out. Though perhaps it has been completely forgotten and this post is the first time it's been brought up or even thought about in several years. Either way, the memory is worth keeping.

Time flies...

September is tomorrow. Fall is coming. In honor of it's arrival I have written this poem:

Falling
By: Travis Smith

Falling Falling
I hear them calling
Calling for help
They are dying.

Dying Dying
They're losing color
They cannot breathe
They are screaming

Screaming Screaming
We cannot help them
They are too far away
They are so sad

Sad sad
But they must go
Why? I do not know.
They are leaving.

Leaving leaving.
The leafs are leaving.
They are falling falling.
Screaming
Sad
Dead.

Acting...

Ah, so THAT is how it is done. Brilliant.

Raaspberries!

So I just watched this movie called Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star. It is beyond bad. How do movies like this get made? Why do they waste millions and millions of dollars making such trash and who writes this crap? Oh, David Spade did...guess that explains some things. There is a nice moment during the credits where about 25 different former child stars (Marcia from Brady Bunch, Leif Garret, etc.) sing a funny song. But that is the only good moment of the entire movie. On that note, I'd like to post these clips:

Get to the POINT!

First of all, thank you to those of you who have gone to Linzy's blog to ask her to come back and start posting again. If you haven't gone over yet to plead her return, it is not too late!

Secondly, I would like to talk about my trip to Cedar Point today. Maverick is awesome. AWESOME. I have never been on a better roller coaster in my life. I didn't even think it was possible to have a hill so steep it went down at a 95 degree angle. So Raptor has been bumped from my favorite roller coaster and Maverick has taken its place.

My group and I went on Maverick at the very end of the night. It was around 7 o'clock (the park closes at 8) and we were tentative about riding it. We didn't know a whole lot about it. I knew that it was western-themed and that it stops at one point in the middle and shoots you again. I had no idea it was the second steepest roller coaster in the world (or that it was 95 degrees!). The wait for the ride was the longest in the park at 1.5 hours. That's not too bad. I remember waiting over 2hrs to ride several other rides at the park, including Magnum XL 200 during it's first year. But we were tired and we didn't know if it was going to be any good so we thought about just leaving or possibly going to another ride. Good thing we didn't. My entire group all exclaimed that it was the best ride in the park. This was a group of people that had never been to the park before. They were all working on the Lion King tour in Cleveland and were friends with Miguel (a friend of mine from college who is assistant company manager on the tour).

After we had gone through the coaster, we came to the breaks and swerved around to reenter the drop off point when an employee came running up the side and told us that we would have to sit and wait for 15 minutes because they had to stop the ride and reset. Apparently, someone had hid a ball cap in his shirt and pulled it out as the ride was leaving the drop off point. They had to stop the ride because you are not allowed to have any loose items on the ride because of the speed it travels. It was a safety precaution. The funny thing is the employee (who was somewhat flamboyant) came running back to our car and said emphatically "see what happens when you start pulling things out". Miguel and I just looked at each other and started laughing at him. I told the guy that it was the quote of the week and I was putting it on my blog. So that's what I just did. HA!

So there's a little bit about my day at Cedar Point today. Fun times. I can't wait to get back there and ride Maverick again. Awesome. BTW the steepest roller coaster(s) in the world is 97 degrees (yikes!) and there are 4 coasters (all in foreign countries) with a hill that steep. There is another coaster that is 95 degrees in Dollywood (tying for second place). Who knew?

Petition

This is a petition to get my friend Linzy back where she belongs...HER BLOG! She hasn't updated for over a year. She is a friend of mine who is a director at an outdoor education camp for kids. Think of the abundance of amusing posts she could be supplying our hungry minds with! Kids+camp+blog=good times. But she can post about so much more than that. Please go to her blog (which I have linked to on the left of my blog) and comment to her last blog saying that you want her to start blogging again. Even if you don't know her this will be greatly appreciated. She is a super busy person and I understand that she probably would never be able to post as much as we would want her to, but she could at least post once a week. Linzy, if you are reading this then you know how I feel. Please come back to the FOLD!!

Humbly yours,
Travis

Naniff and Urbiff

Naniff and Urbiff. When we were kids, those were the names my friend Ryan and I would call each other. I was Naniff, he was Urbiff. His official name was Ryan Krichbaum and I suppose you could have called him one of my best friends growing up. He was a blonde-haired, pale boy with thick framed glasses. He always wore polos with the crocodile on them (yes, it's a crocodile) and he loved to act goofy. We would make faces at each other and say things like "Jesus Peter" and then watch the 1985 TV adaptation of "Alice in Wonderland" because it was our favorite movie and we had a crush on the girl playing Alice. We went so far as to kiss the screen whenever she graced it. When we would call each other Naniff and Urbiff it wasn't something we would say in a normal speech pattern. Whenever we would say those names we would say them as if we had some sort of speech impediment and we had an IQ lower than 75. It truly was odd. My mother remembers it very vividly and still laughs about it to this day.

There was a time when my brothers forced Ryan and I to fight. It probably wasn't as forced as I'm making it out to be. We probably wanted to fight each other. It was some primitive urge to see who was stronger. My brothers encouraged it though. My older brother, Cliffy, was my coach, while my other older brother, Sean, coached Ryan. First round happened and we sorta wrestled a little. There was a little name calling, some kicking here some tugging there. Finally Cliffy made a bell sound to cue us. Round one was over. We'd go back for some more coaching then round two was on. Some more tugging, a punch to the gut. Ding Ding. Round two was over. I was sure I was winning. He was going down soon. Some more coaching. I noticed my brother Sean whispering in Ryan's ear as Cliffy started coaching me to grab him by the neck and pin him to the ground. Round three was on. That is when it happened. Before I knew it Ryan had kicked me so hard in the balls it knocked the wind out of me. I collapsed and cried in agony. My coach, being my jerk older brother, laughed despite the loss. Sean and Ryan gave each other a high five while they wallowed in their illegitimate victory. Fighting dirty. That little butthole. I mustered up the strength to stand up. Holding back the tears that were so desperately trying to burst from the seams. My stomach hurt. It was a pain no woman will ever understand. Why is it that my balls hurt along with my entire lower abdomen? I walked out of the room pouting in pain.

Later I was rummaging through the fridge looking for some salami to make a sandwich. I had managed to avoid Ryan all day when he finally came up to me and apologized. I looked at him and told him that he had cheated. He was a nice kid. Really nice. He was just doing what my brother told him to do. He wanted to impress but in the end realized that he hurt me and that I was Naniff and he was Urbiff. Without each other we were merely Ryan and Travis. Those names, in some odd 3rd grade mentality way, bonded us. Naniff and Urbiff. I accepted his apology and we walked into the living room together and watched Alice in Wonderland.

I haven't spoken to Ryan in several years. After those first few summers of knowing him we sort of grew apart and went our seperate ways. He ended up working at Kroger as a manager and I would see him in there stocking shelves and flick my head up a little as if saying hi without opening my mouth. He eventually joined the military and I never really saw him again. I suppose he's doing very well. I hope he is. Urbiff was a good friend.

Another Joke.

A crusty old man walks into the local Catholic Church and says to the
secretary, "I would like to join this damn church." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!"
"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this
church." The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to inform
him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to
listen to that foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor
asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"
"There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won $200 million bucks in
the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of
this damn money." "I see," said the pastor. "And is this bitch giving you a hard time?"

They must have went to Hogwarts.

Um...can anybody tell me how this was done? Amazing.

Tom Cruise...

Why does he continue to make movies? That is all.

Lisa is so inspiring...

Not that I want to be a copycat or anything but I really wanted to post the jobs I've had for the last few years as my friend Lisa did on her blog.

High School:
95-97 Wendy's. They say everyone should work in fast food service at some point in their life. I think it taught me something. I know I hated it. Why I stayed there for 2 1/2 years is beyond me. It was an awful awful job. I needed to pay for gas though. I also think part of the deal was that I'd get a job and keep if my parents bought me a car. It was the crappiest car I've ever had. Whatever.

COLLEGE YEARS:

I actually did some work study in college. I played piano for a ballet class one quarter. I was terrible. I remember some Russian ballet teacher named George yelling at me in broken English because I couldn't play Chopin perfectly. I also house managed in Cowan hall a few times. It was such an easy job and one time I got to house manage some event a bunch of Indians were having. They put on skits for each other on the stage. I really wasn't exactly sure what they were doing and why they were doing it but I didn't care because I was getting paid well for it. This was also the first time I had the wonderful opportunity to drink Chai. This was authentic Indian Chai too. I've never had chai like it since...it was amazing.

The winter break during my freshman year I worked for my dad for a few weeks at Central Ohio Comfort Corps as a receptionist. It was an OK job. I wasn't there for very long so it didn't really phase me much. I do remember that the job location was near Lennox theatre and I would drive down there to watch movies all the time after work. I remember going to see Good Will Hunting and Titanic.

The summer after my sophomore year I got a job as a telemarketer with Dial America Marketing. Basically I just had to call people up and ask them if they wanted to renew their magazine subscriptions. We did everything from Reader's Digest to Playboy! Some of those Playboy phone calls got interesting, especially when you were talking to a wife who was unaware that they were subscribers. Ha! It was a terrible job and you really felt like crap sometimes at the end of the day, whether it was because someone chewed you out for interrupting their meal or because you just basically conned a very old, senile lady into renewing her Soap Digest because you worked on a commission. The staff was very friendly however. I remember Miguel Ortiz, Eric Rutherford, and Jim Cooney all working there for a spell. They all hated it...especially Miguel.

I also started working as a host at Bravo! my Senior year of college. I was there for about 8 months. It was an OK job. I just remember really disliking one of my managers. She was such a bitch. One time she fell on her ass and it will always remain the highlight of my time there.

During my college years I would occasionally work some temp jobs for Adecco, both clerical and industrial. I remember one specific industrial job I got assigned to with MY MOM! It was to basically assemble a new KB Toy Store. It was the one that was across the street from Easton, next to Galyans. I don't know if it is even still there. But my mom and I helped put that store together. Everything from the shelving units to the original toys that went on the shelves. It was good quality time with my mom but she would embarrass me sometimes because she wouldn't let me pick up heavy items and all the guys kinda looked at me like a momma's boy.

POST COLLEGE:

After Bravo! I went on to FFA Camp Muskingum in Canton, OH for 3 months as an outdoor educator for mostly 6th graders (although it ranged from 5th grade to high school). It was a great job but it didn't really pay a whole lot and it wasn't really what I wanted to do. But I learned so much from the job and it was an excellent experience that I will never forget.

About a year after college I moved to NYC where I worked at the New Amsterdam Theatre as an usher. The show that was playing the theatre at the time was "The Lion King". Since then it has moved on to the Minskoff and "Mary Poppins" has filled the void. It wasn't the best job in the world but I LOVED the people I worked with and believe it or not the job paid the bills. You even have to join a union to be an Broadway usher in NYC. Actually, one of my good usher friends from my days there is currently playing Greg on Broadway in "A Chorus Line". Goes to show that even ushers can end up on the stage at some point. I met many celebrities working there and even sat a few of them. Harvey Fierstein yelled at me (in a nice way) once because he didn't get a program and I had to blockade the aisle for Tina Turner when they premiered Brother Bear at the New Am. I got to meet Michael Eisner a couple of times. He was always a really nice guy and acted very "Disney". Those are just a few of the celebs I saw and/or met. Overall, it was a pretty cool job and I worked with really cool people...it was just redundant having to watch The Lion King over and over and over. The New Am has a reputation as the best theatre in NYC and their ushers are the best ushers in NYC.

After NYC I moved to Indiana where I worked for 2 1/2 years as the resident music director and activities director at Bearcreek Resort. Most of the shows they do there are revue shows but they are gradually entering the "book show" territory. It was a good job. They paid me well and I got to do what I wanted to do. The experience I received there as a musician was amazing. I got to compose songs, do several arrangements, write tracks, and orchestrate among other things. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had stayed in NYC. Would I be doing bigger and better things? Perhaps. But I'm happy and glad that's I've accomplished the things I've accomplished. Life is not over yet.

So that's my job resume for the past several years. It does NOT however include all the shows and theatres I've been involved with. You can go to my official webpage and check out my resumes to see some of those.

So that's it. Good life so far. Oh yeah, I almost forgot one. In NYC I was a model scout for a day. It was such a wretched job. But that is a post for another time...

Priceless Game Show Moments.

This guy will never live this one down:





This one is long but it is well worth the wait. One of the stupidest girls to ever appear on network television. Hilarious.



I'm sorry but this one just has to be posted mostly because the lady's name is "Gay". But the dude is an idiot too. Hysterical.



Ok, this one is just sad:



And this one just needs to be here because it is priceless South Park:

Harry Potter and the Search For a Slughorn.

So as I'm reading the 7th, and final, book of the Harry Potter series I began thinking about casting for the 6th film. There are a few important characters in the 6th novrel that emerge anew that will need to be cast. However, the most important is probably Horace Slughorn. I was thinking Bob Hoskins. What do you all think? Obviously he has to be British. He also has to be enormously fat, bald and old (at least that's how the novel describes him). I don't think Bob Hoskins is enormously fat by any means but he'd do very well in the role. Perhaps the role has already been cast. If that is the case then please enlighten me. I checked IMDB.com and it didn't say.

Great Marketing

I love the new mountain dew commercials:

Ray Romano...

...is not funny. That is all.

A joke

"The Haircut"

A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I canget a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2hours." The guy left. A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours." The guy left. A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How longbefore I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a half."The guy left. The barber turned to a friend and said, "Hey, Bill, do me a favor. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn'tever come back." A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, "So where does that guy go when he leaves?" Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said, "Your house."

Desperate times

I remember reading the novel Desperation when I was in high school. I remember being indifferent about it, not loving it as much as Needful Things or The Green Mile but not disliking it as much as Gerald's Game or Insomnia. Oh, by the way, all those novels are by Stephen King. If you are a fan of Stephen King you also know that he writes a pretty lame column every other week for Entertainment Weekly. Regardless of my content with the novel Desperation, the made-for-tv movie just plain SUCKED. Don't ever watch it...just read the book...or better yet, skip it all together and read It or Misery - two great novels with two great accompanying films (OK, just the first half of the It movie was great, but the second half wasn't THAT bad). Oh, and this post totally reminds me of the time I recommended Needful Things to Lisa. When she finally finished the book after about 9 years she threw it against the wall because she hated it so much. HAHA. Good times.

Cars with kids...the next smoking ban?

I just read an interesting article on AOL. I've linked to it here:

Smoking

I'm curious to hear what the thoughts are on this one. Is the government going to far? I read some comments arguing that a car is personal property and the government shouldn't be imposing upon that. However, doesn't the government require us to wear seatbelts and use our turn signals? Those are both laws that the government has imposed on our so-called "personal property". But perhaps taking something away, such as smoking, is different than requiring us to do something, such as wear a seatbelt. Is second hand smoke as dangerous as they are saying it is?

Personally, I believe the smoking ban in public places is a blessing. I love being able to go out and enjoy a few drinks and sing karaoke without being forced to endure an abundance of second hand smoke. The best part is NOT smelling like smoke when you exit the premises. Remember when you'd shower the next day and you could smell the smoke washing out of your hair? Gross. They banned smoking in public places a few years ago in NYC when I was living there and this past year they banned smoking in public places in the entire state of Ohio. Hooray I say! As for a smoking ban in cars, I'm not sure how I feel about that. Let's get a conversation started and see if I can make up my mind.

Amen my brother in Christ...Amen

Film Scores

Just thought I'd post on here some excellent (yet less popular) film scores you all should look into:

1. Hook - John Williams
2. Fried Green Tomatoes - Thomas Newman
3. Fargo - Carter Burwell
4. Death Becomes Her - Alan Sylvestri
5. The Hours - Phillip Glass

Though Sylvestri and Williams are comparable they are all very different sounding scores. Listen to them (especially the main themes) and tell me what you think.

A couple of things to make you smile.

A JOKE

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. Maude: What in the hell is that? Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Maude: Where did you get it? Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore. The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers. "Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted.

A VIDEO

I will start updating again soon...

So a couple of my friends have started blogging recently (well, one of them just returned to the fold) and I have decided that I need to start blogging again as well. It has been too long. I will try my best to blog at least once a week starting very shortly. Please come and read my blog and leave comments so that I know it's actually being viewed. Talk at you later.

Finally an UPDATE!

So I decided it was time to update my blog. I haven't done it in several months due to many factors: laziness, lack of ambition, zero perseverance, minuscule commitment, TV was on. Happy New Year to everyone out there who actually reads this thing. My thoughts are whether or not I should even keep the blog. I could just start blogging on myspace because I think it would be read more. We'll see.

Nothing new in life except I'm living with my parents again for the first time in several years. It's more of a transition thing than actually "moving" in. I'm busy trying to upgrade my music equipment and I'm taking lessons on sequencing, editing, mixing, etc in Powell from a friend of my fathers. Should be a step in the right direction. I plan on leaving here no later than the end of February. The lessons sort of put a delay in my plan to leave after a few days. Unless something better comes along it'll be back to NYC! Good times. Thanks for reading the blog and talk at you later.