Really?

Is this video serious? Cause I found it rather humorous.

Click Here For Video

Digging through the archives.

I came back to Columbus today for a short visit and decided to go rummaging through some of my old school papers, pictures, etc. I wanted to find some old reviews of shows that I was in to put them up on my website. I was looking through one particular box and I came across a story that I wrote in the 4th grade. It was odd because it had a cardboard cover that had been wrapped in some type of paper. It almost looked like it had been wrapped in wall paper, a very hideous wallpaper. So I pulled it out and opened it up and inside was a bio and picture of me from the fourth grade. Here is what the bio said:

Travis Smith is nine years old. He lives in Pickerington, Ohio. His favorite food is spaghetti, chicken, pizza, and steak. He likes to read.

Oh, and picture that bio written in 4th grader cursive.

On the first page was a picture of me under the title: Heroes. Below the picture was written the words: By Travis Smith. The next page was a dedication to my parents and the name of the publishing company and copyright: Smith Publishing Co. Copyright 1989.

Then came the story. All punctuation and grammar has been retained for authenticity.

Once there lived a kitten with her mom in the town dump. His father had died of pain and starvation because his foot became caught in a bear trap. The momma went out one day to get the baby some fish from the market. Unfortunately, when the kitten's mom reached the middle of the road the light turned green. And the kitten's mom got ran over and died. The pound found the little kitten. There were three kittens, and four puppies and one dad and mom in the pound. The puppie's names were Grounder, Ruff, Sam, and Misty. The kitten liked Sam the best. She had to get out of the pound because in a month she would have to get a shot and that means death. That night the cat took a deep breath and squeezed through the bars. And the door opened the next morning, ZOOM! The cat escaped And he started running then he bumped into a pit bull. "Rrrrr," growled the dog. The cat got out of there in a flash. And the pit bull started chasing it. At that time a man just broke of of jail. It was on the news the he was one of the worst robbers in the jail. The pit bull was still chasing the cat. She jumped over the fence . And sitting in the grass were two cocker spaniels. The cat's hair flew up. The two dogs started chasing the cat. "Scat," said a man to the two dogs The man picked up the cat by its tail. "Let me have her" said his wife. Will I have to go to the bakery dear "said the man." Why don't you take the cat "said the woman." Well...okay "the man said." When they got there he threw the cat on the table. And sitting on the table with her was a dog. They began to fight. When the man noticed they were in a fight he stopped them. The robber was on their street now. He was getting hungry. The dog and cat were out playing. The robber noticed the bakery. He went inside all dressed up in black you couldn't see his face it was covered too. "Give me all your money." O my said the man." A man named Jermy Thomas was in the restroom. He came out saw the robber. So he went out the back door. the dog and cat came through the front door shoot. Then they noticed the man. They both jumped on him and started biting him and scratching him. The man fell down and was injured. The police came in and took the man away. How did you know he was here? A man by the name of Jeremy Thomas told us. "Well thanks alot," said the man. And for the dog and cat they were heroes.

WTF? Did I seriously write this crap? Why is it so violent and depressing. I must have been going through a phase. There are also illustrations throughout the book. Let me just say, they are HIDEOUS. I do have to admit though, my grammar and spelling isn't half-bad. Granted, I start far too many sentences with "And". I also mess up the quotations a few times. It's kind of amusing because I get them backwards. But ultimately, what is this story about? It doesn't really make a whole lot of sense. I'm not sure what the grade was. The book hasn't been written in at all. None of the grammatical or spelling errors have been fixed. Regardless, I found it amusing and I hope you did too.

Watch if you dare.

First off I wanted to say that I completely forgot about Charlie Wilson's War in my top 10 list. It would have been up there somewhere. Alas, too late to change it now. But it's a great satire, check it out. I also watched The Mist recently which I enjoyed thoroughly.

Anyways, this is just gross. Gross, gross, gross.