The Magic of Editing

Several years ago I had the privilege of watching a recut trailer for Sound of Music that made it come across as a horror movie. It was brilliant. I couldn't find that particular trailer on youtube (there were a couple knock offs), but I did find these that are equally amusing.

Mary Poppins as a Horror Movie



The Shining as a Romantic Comedy (my personal favorite)

So True

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine and beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service.

Lake Geneva

So I'm currently working in Wisconsin at a resort called Grand Geneva. It's a beautiful resort with a spa, ski facilities, beautiful lodging, and an awesome indoor swimming facility. If you want to check it out go to www.grandgeneva.com. I'm playing piano for their Christmas Show: Hooray for Holidays! The resort also has several restaurants including an Italian restaurant that is apparently very, very exquisite. I will try to document some of my experiences here on the blog. The people are all very nice here and the show is coming along nicely. So wish me luck and I hope all of you are doing interesting and entertaining things as well.

Chicken Recipe

Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing. Imagine that! When I found it, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.

BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN

6-7 lb. chicken
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (Orville Redenbacher's Low
Fat) Salt/pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn.

Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.

Listen for the popping sounds. When the chicken's ass blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room, it's done.

McDonalds Monopoly

How ingenious is this concept anyways? Whoever came up with the idea of playing monopoly by buying a large fries and drink should be punished. It is addicting and cruel. I don't like McDonalds. I don't like their food and I think they are one of the primary sources of obesity and lack-of-health in this country. Yet, I still find myself going to McDonalds to play Monopoly. I really could use a million dollars. I sat down and realized that if I put 1 million dollars in a CD worth 5 percent, I would earn 50,000 dollars a year in interest. I would never have to work again. I could just live off of the interest. I would still probably work, but it would be nice to know I didn't have to if I didn't want to. Plus if a boss pissed me off at work I could just tell them off and not worry about losing my job. Now they have the online version of Monopoly which is equally as cruel. They really have perfected ways on getting people to come back and play more. Park Place is one of the easiest pieces to acquire. But Boardwalk is virtually impossible because it is worth a million. Some people out there probably don't realize that, so they just keep coming back to McDonalds thinking they just lucked out by getting Park Place and they are going to be equally as luck at getting Boardwalk. I'm one of those idiots. Ugh. I hate McDonalds. I'm convinced the online game is rigged as well. They make you think you are going to win certain properties but you never will. By the way, here are the "hard" pieces to get:

Boardwalk-
Pennsylvania Ave-
Ventnor Ave-
Kentucky Ave-
Tennessee Ave-
Virginia Ave-
Vermont Ave-
Mediterranean Ave-

And "Short Line" has always been the winning railroad piece!!

If you haven't started playing it yet...DON'T. It's unhealthy and a waste of time and money. But most importantly: It's ADDICTING!

By the way...

Don't you love how youtube takes videos down due to infringement only to be put back up by someone else later that day. Why do they even bother? This video was taken down so the old link (from a blog I did a few weeks ago) doesn't work so I'm reposting it again because it is so worthy. Do watch the bonus vids as well:




BONUS:



Another Bonus:

Who Am I?

I never make mistakes. I thought I did once, but I was mistaken.

I'm still here.

Things are going well here on the farm. We opened our show this week to a sold out crowd and they responded well. Our second show received a standing ovation (for Bearcreek that is quite an accomplishment because most of the patrons can't stand very well seeing how they are usually 70+) and last night we performed to another sold out audience including my parents. If anyone is interested in coming to the show let me know. I may be able to score some comp tickets. Other things have been going well. I'm going through that post rehearsal depression where I realize I have nothing to do but think about my life. Haha. No, but seriously, I'm great and I just need to find things to occupy my time. I'd like to start a myspace music page and write a few songs to put up on it. If anybody has any good lyrics let me know. I'm not much of a lyricist. I hope all is well with whoever reads this and leave me some comments to let me know how things are going with you!

Too funny

Here I Am.

So while most of my readers are enjoying basking in the sun next to their beach house, I am back at Bearcreek farms enjoying the relaxing sting of the mosquitos and the pleasant aroma of manure. I arrived here a couple days ago and have managed to go to the bar both nights I've been here. I am indifferent about being back here. I'm glad to see old faces that are happy to see me back but on the flip side I didn't really see myself coming back here so soon. I think the show will be fun though and I'm looking forward to putting it up. I'll keep you posted as much as possible on the progress and if any fun stories pop up! Hope all you beach heads are having a fab time!!! Miss you!

Job Time

Just so everyone is aware, this is what I'll be doing for the next few weeks:



For those of you who are a little confused, I'm going to play piano for a show called Sisters of Swing. I'm also a character in the show with a few lines. It should be interesting. The show is about the lives of the Andrews Sisters. Normally, I'd be music directing but I opted out for this one. I'm leaving on Monday and I won't be done until around Nov. 7. I won't have internet where I'm going except when I go into town to use the wireless at the coffee shop. Hence, I won't be updating my blog as much. I'm sorry! But I will try to update as much as I can and I hope that all of my 5 readers update their blogs as well. I might get dial up just to satisfy my cravings but I'm not sure yet.

Two new things to watch that start with D.

Dexter - If you haven't heard of it, it's a show on Showtime about a serial killer. If I tell you any more about it then I'd be ruining things. It's clever. One of those shows that you watch and think, "who comes up with this stuff?". It could probably be funnier. It has its humerous moments but oftentimes it seems to miss the "dark humor" it could be embracing. That aside, it's a great show and one that should not be missed. Bonus: it has Julie Benz (Darla) in it from Joss Whedon's Buffy and Angel series.

Death At A Funeral - This is a film that was released a few weeks ago and hardly made a blemish on the sales chart. The sad thing is that it should have. It's an hysterical British comedy about a group of people who attend a funeral where things (naturally!) start going wrong. It's farce with some dark humor. I've noticed, however, that many people did NOT like this film. It seems to be an "either you hate it or love it" sort of movie. I loved it! Bonus: it has Alan Tudyk (Wash) in it from Joss Whedon's Firefly series.

My name has been immortalized.

So I just watched an episode of South Park and there was a character on the show named Travis! It just so happens that the character was also a louse. Now, while I have always dreamed of being a member of the lice community, I never imagined in a million years that it would actually happen. Such an honor this is. Here is a clip of me and my egg-baby being rescued from a dangerous environment (aka RID soaked boy scalp) and delivered to a much safer and comfortable habitat.

Update

Ok, so apparently the brother, who was mentioned in the post "It's a Sad Day", took it upon himself to shoot the pit bull because it was violent. Jeez, I really don't know how I feel about that. Is that even legal? It's good that the dog can't harm anything or anyone any more but was it really necessary to end its life? Couldn't they just give it to someone who was in need of a guard dog or something? The whole situation is just so frustrating and sad.

WTF?

By the way, this is my 30th post in less than 30 days! All you other bloggers (except Michael) suck.

It's a sad day.

So my brother was babysitting this dog for awhile and it was the cutest little chihuahua. Its name was Roxy. The dog belonged to my sister-in-law's brother. I'm not sure why they were watching it but I think it had something to do with her brother moving. So they were watching the dog for a few weeks and they eventually gave the dog back to her brother. Well, apparently the dog was eaten by the brother's other dog - a pit bull. Now, the thing that really pisses me off (besides the fact that this dog was really cute and sweet) is that nobody thought that a pit bull probably wasn't compatible with a chihuahua. It really infuriated me. It also saddened me. It also worries me a little because my nieces could be the next victim of the pit bull. This post is a shout out to everyone out there that dogs can be sweet but pit bulls and chihuahuas are NOT COMPATIBLE animals. Alas, may Roxy rest in peace.

Tribute to Ana Gasteyer

Singing "The Stuff" from Reefer Madness




Singing "Defying Gravity" from Wicked





Longer version of Defying Gravity

One More Thing

Whose idea was it to spell the word gauge "g-a-u-g-e"? Should it just be spelled g-a-g-e? That's how it's pronounced. Also, if I were to say "I want to gauge your eye out with a spoon!", is it still spelled g-a-u-g-e? No wonder English is such a difficult language to learn. Sheesh!

Mickey Rooney...

is really really old. That is all.

The Brilliance That Is The Simpsons

Tonight I was watching an episode of The Simpsons on Fox. There was a scene where the family was walking through Chinatown and they walked past a store in the background called "Toys 'L' Us". It took me a minute to figure it out but once I did it was very funny. I love that The Simpsons is totally oblivious to political correctness. It's no wonder that it is entering it's 19th season. Keep the D'ohs, Eeexcellents, Ha Has, and Eat My Shorts comin'!