Back again

K. I'm back again. Ugh. I have been horrible about updating this thing. Anyways, I'm currently in rehearsal for a kid's show with the Old Creamery theatre in Amana, Iowa. This year the show is about doing your personal best. Apparently teachers really want to focus on that topic even though kids apparently have no idea what that means.

I was fortunate enough to bring Lady with me this time and she seems to be enjoying herself. It's nice that she gets to come to rehearsals with me because she doesn't have to sit at home bored out of her mind. The company seem to really like her too. A couple of them have even been generous enough to buy her treats!

A few things I've done recently and I'd recommend:

1. War Horse.

Apparently several people hate this movie because of the sap and how contrived it is at times. But I guess I'm just a sucker for animal movies because I loved it. Sure it bothered me that the foreign armies all spoke English (why no subtitles, we can read you know), and it was a little on the boring side for the first 30 minutes but overall it was a great film. Beautiful cinematography (some haters think its over the top) and another great score by John Williams add to the appeal. It's a great love letter to all the horses who have sacrificed their lives in all the wars and battle this world has seen. It's message being one of hope and peace in a world of horrible things.

2. Tosh.0

I just started watching this show. Why did it take me so long?! It's hilarious! I want to be Tosh's friend. Just so he can make me laugh uncontrollably whenever I'm in a bad mood. Great premise too. Who doesn't want to make fun of all those idiots on YouTube?

Memphis

I'm going to Memphis this weekend for the UPTA auditions. More info about them here. Basically, they are a unified mass audition where about 70 companies show up and about 800 (?? that's a guess) people audition for them. Then the companies have callbacks through out the weekend if they are interested in any of the performers.

This will be the third time that I have attended UPTAs. I actually have never gone as a performer. As a matter of fact, the only "mass" audition that I have ever attended as a performer was the OTA auditions in Columbus, OH. Those auditions have since moved out to Cambridge, OH. More on that later. Everytime I have gone to UPTAs it has been as a music director. So, essentially, I help the company I'm working for cast their current season.

The audition process can be somewhat grueling. Both for the performer and the person watching the auditions. Each performer has 90 seconds to give us their best. They can choose to do either a song and a monologue or two monologues. Although I have known many people who have done 2 songs or a monologue and 2 songs. Heck, I'm sure there have even been people crazy enough to attempt three songs. Regardless of the rules, they do what they want and they have 90 seconds to do it. There is a time keeper. The time keeper generally stands with about 10 seconds remaining so that the performer knows to "wrap it up". One rule of thumb at UPTAs: DO NOT EVER GO OVER THE 90 SECONDS. EVER. It will blacklist you. "Producers" (fancy word for the people watching the auditions, most of whom are not actual producers) will go so far as to blacklist performers who go over the 90 seconds, regardless of how talented they might have been. Their thought process basically goes that a performer should practice their audition so many times they know, without a doubt, that their audition is 90 seconds or less. I suppose I agree with that statement. You honestly can tell if you are going to be interested in someone with probably about 25 seconds of audition material. Possibly less. The actual "AUDITION" is going to happen in your callback. That is where the "producer" can see more and determine whether they want to hire you or not. Many producers merely hire based on a performers resume, looks and presence and can they carry a tune. This can all be determined in 25 seconds. Easy.

The grueling part for the performers is just the nerve wracking experience of it all. Stressing out about whether or not your audition is too long, are you wearing the right clothes, how hard is the dance call going to be, what if I forget the words, what if I can't make it to all my callbacks and where the hell are the callbacks anyways??!! The grueling part for the producers is, well, most of the performers really just aren't that good. Try sitting through hundreds of auditions where the performer is less than stellar, can't carry a tune or hold a pitch, forgets their words, is wearing a hideous dress, or bombs their monologue. It get's tedious and exhausting. I've known companies who have gone to the OTA auditions and not called a single person back. NOT ONE! Granted, there aren't nearly the amount of auditioners at OTA that there are at UPTA and the quality at OTA is even worse than UPTA, but still...none?? Crazy.

But at the end of the day, when all is said and done, UPTAs can be quite a fun experience. It's almost to the point where it's not only an audition but it's also a family reunion of sorts. I will be rejoined with dozens of old friends and acquaintances this weekend. I'm very excited about that. It's always so nice to reconnect. I'm wishing all of them the best this weekend during their audition too. I'm also sending good vibes to all those producers who have to sit through the auditions. God speed. I know what it's like.

Time Flies

Wow, Outside the Box. I have neglected you! I can't believe that I went a whole year without posting on my blog once! Where does the time go? I know we say that all the time. But seriously, where does the time go? I don't get it. It's already February, it seems like Christmas was yesterday.

It's true what they say too. Time gets faster as you get older. Obviously, it doesn't REALLY get faster. But why does it feel like it is? I did a little research and discovered a couple of interesting things regarding this.

This theory is interesting because it basically tries to say that time goes faster because we aren't processing as much new information. At least I THINK that's what it's trying to say.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=122322542

Another theory from someone on Yahoo answers:

"I think the reason is what I'd read in a poem ages ago. It said that as we grow old, more and more of all those whom we knew and loved are taken away, and we become more and more impatient to meet them once more!"

Um, ok. Can't say that I agree with that one at all. But whatever. Another popular theory on another board was this:

When you're five years old, a year is one fifth of your life. That makes it seem like an impossibly long time, especially if you're five and have to wait until next year for something you really want.

In comparison, when you're 20, a year is only one twentieth of your life, and while the days don't exactly fly by yet, a year doesn't seem like the eternity it was at five.

By the time you're 50 and a year is only one fiftieth of the time you've experienced, a year whips by pretty quickly.

I don't know. Regardless of what the answer is, TIME IS GOING BY TOO FAST!

Crass but Funny!

Goodbye 20s Part I

Yep, it's tomorrow. The day that I turn 30. I'm just not sure how I feel about that. I won't be in my 20s anymore. I won't be the envy of everyone around me because I'm no longer young and hip with wide eyes and far-out aspirations. I'm kinda, well, old. Yeah, it's a little depressing. Where has the time gone...

I think back to when I was 20 years old and try to remember what I was doing at the time. I was still in college, I know that for sure. Ah, Otterbein, with it's quaint aura and liberal ideals. How I miss thee. I miss those drawn out choir practices in the afternoons. I miss the Thursday night parties at Pi Sig. Heck, I even miss those silly Phys Ed classes we were required to take. I miss getting up early to go to class during the crisp and beautiful Fall on campus. I miss Schneiders bakery and late night Big Bear alcohol runs. I miss choir tours and going to rehearsal for a show after spending a full day in class. I miss the teachers. I miss my friends.

I remember my 21st birthday. The night I turned 21 I went out with Carl Cain. I was with him at 12am when it became official: I could drink...legally! We were at Union Station. It was just the two of us. It was pretty laid back but Carl was mighty upset that his ex boyfriend Jim wasn't there to celebrate with us. Jim wanted nothing to do with Carl anymore. Carl just hadn't moved on. Ah, the drama of a 20 something.

My friends, Jim Cooney and Miguel Ortiz, threw me a surprise birthday party the next night at Miguel's apartment over at the Continent. When I went up to his apartment it was a little obvious that something was going on due to the party streamers hanging out of the cracks of the door. I was a little disappointed in the turnout. I don't remember there being an awful lot of people there but it was fun regardless. I was emotional I'm sure, after having a few drinks I always seemed to express myself a little too much. Being 21 and depressed just seems so silly in retrospect. What did I have to be depressed about? It is, to this day, the only surprise party anyone has ever thrown me...thank God.

I graduated when I turned 22. Even though I had big dreams for the future, I was never quite sure what I wanted to do. I knew that I wanted to be very successful. I wanted to prove myself to everyone including myself. That's what I needed. I remember my parents at graduation. They were so proud. Their son was the first one in their family to actually graduate with a Bachelors degree from college. I was planning on going to Indiana University shortly thereafter to pursue my masters, but things changed. Shortly after graduation I quit my job at Bravo! to move to Carrollton, OH to be an outdoor education at FFA Camp Muskingum for 3 months. Those were some of the best months of my life. I worked like a dog for very little money, but it was well worth it.

Next my life took me to Bearcreek Farms Country Resort in Bryant, IN, a place that would inevitably consume me for a good 3 years of my life. But my first time there I was only there for 3 months. I turned 23 at Bearcreek Farms. Afterwards, I moved back to Columbus. Sadly, I watched my best friend for 18 years pass away that summer. May Pepsi rest in peace. He's in doggie heaven now I'm sure. September of that year, instead of grad school, I decided to move to NYC. That's where dreams come true. Or so I thought.

To Be Continued...

Is this for real?

If you get a chance, click on the video and go to the actual youtube site and read the comments. Hilarious.

For your consideration:

Who Could Ask For Anything More??

Sex And The City's King Confirms Sequel Deal

6 February 2009 8:05 AM, PST

Sex And The City writer/director Michael Patrick King has delighted millions of fans worldwide by confirming a movie sequel to the 2008 hit is in the works. Reports surfaced earlier this week claiming the four leading ladies - Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis - had officially signed on to make a follow up to the big-screen adaptation last year following months of speculation.

And now King has expressed his delight at reteaming with the stars once again - but he's refusing to reveal any ideas he has for the new movie script.

He says, "I'm very excited to work with these amazing actresses again and would love to give everyone more information about the sequel... but I'm busy with my Sex life."

This just in! Thank you Stephen King!

Horror writer Stephen King has served up a fright for Twilight author Stephenie Meyers, insisting she "can't write worth a darn". King, the writer of classics like Carrie and Misery, has gone public with his critique of in-vogue Utah-based novelist Meyers in the upcoming issue of USA Weekend magazine.

He starts by complimenting J.K. Rowling on her Harry Potter books, and then slates Meyer.

He says, "Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good.

"It’s very clear that she’s writing to a whole generation of girls and opening up kind of a safe joining of love and sex in those books. It’s exciting and it’s thrilling and it’s not particularly threatening because it’s not overtly sexual.

"A lot of the physical side of it is conveyed in things like the vampire will touch her forearm or run a hand over skin, and she just flushes all hot and cold. And for girls, that’s a shorthand for all the feelings that they’re not ready to deal with yet."

Source: IMDB.com

An oldie but a goodie!

This video has been floating around the internet for awhile but I never got around to watching it until recently. It's quite the comedic gem. Enjoy!

Pointless Blogging

I always felt like there had to be some grand purpose to my blogs. I felt that there had to be a POINT. Whether it was an interesting video, movie review, or a memoir I wanted my blog to have a purpose. I didn't see the point in writing something that didn't have, well, a POINT.

But I realize that I can also treat my blog as a journal and use it to document the current "going-ons" in my life. If somebody reads my blog and finds that interesting, then great! However, if they don't, then that is fine too. Sometimes I just need a place to talk about myself and/or vent about current situations, and I feel that this is just the place for that.

With that being said, I don't have much to vent about. Nothing extremely special is going on in my life. I'm currently working in Rock Island, IL where I'm performing the show "Ring of Fire" at a local dinner theatre called Circa '21. You can visit their web page here.

The show has been getting great reviews and the company of actors/servers/management/etc. are all very nice people and easy to get along with. So my life is pretty good right now, regardless of the fact that sometimes I just wish I were considerably more productive.

I'll be turning 30 in about 3 months. I'm not necessarily dreading the infamous, landmark age; however, I definitely am also not looking forward to it. 30 is when the body begins to deteriorate and building muscle and staying fit gradually becomes more and more difficult. That is why it is so important to exercise and build muscle in your 20's. All that exercise will carry over into your 30's and help slow the aging process. I also always felt that by the time I turned 30 I would be a little more accomplished than I am. Or, rather, I was hoping to be.

One of my goals when I started in the theatre business was to become consistently employed, and I feel that that goal has been accomplished. However, I still have yet to do a national tour and a cruise, two jobs that I have wanted to do for awhile. There have been a couple opportunities to do both of those things but I was always unavailable at the time and had to let the opportunity pass me by. I also have some standards that is blocking me from doing those two things. I don't really want to work a cruise for much longer than a couple of months (standard cruise contracts are 6 months to a year) and I don't want to go to the Caribbean (standard first contract cruises are to the Caribbean).

My only real desire to do a cruise is based on the fact that I just want to explore the world. I've only been to Canada, that's it! How lame. How amazing would it be to land a cruise gig that explored the Mediterranean and the contract was only for a couple of months. That would be the ideal cruise for me. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Touring on a bus and truck with a national tour just sounds dreadful sometimes. Most of the non-equity tours traveling our nation today go to podunk cities such as (no offense Lisa) Portsmouth, OH. While I love Portsmouth, I don't really want most of the cities I travel too being cities such as Portsmouth, OH, staying a day, then getting up at 6 in the morning to load a bus that is traveling to Muncie, Indiana - or worse, somewhere in Iowa. But national tours are very reputable things to do, they look great on your resume and they are definitely stepping stones for your career. It's just unfortunate that the travel process can be somewhat grueling at times.

I'm not trying to be a whiny McCOMPLAINerson here. With the current state of our economy (God, I haven't heard that one too many times lately) I am fortunate to have a job and to be consistently working. I am very thankful for that. But we can all dream sometimes and set goals for ourselves, and then complain if we don't accomplish those goals fast enough! Haha. My ultimate dream, however, is to win an Oscar for anything. Maybe it'll happen someday.

Optical Illusion

This is just amazing. It blew my mind.

Is this picture black and white, or is it in color? Stare at the dot in the middle of the image, and perhaps the answer will present itself to you. Make it full screen if you can.




This one is pretty cool too!

These are to make you feel smart:

Jeopardy F-bomb

Book Club

In the past month I have managed to read 4 novels in a mission to read more. I think 4 in a month is pretty good. Here are the books I read and how I felt about them:

*Ratings are based on a 4 *star* system.

1. Twilight - * Terrible book. Here is a copy of my review from Facebook:

The first 375 pages go like this:

Girl: Oh the vampire is sooooo gorgeous.

Vampire: No you can't like me because I'm a vampire. I'm a good vampire but I might get tempted to bite you.

That happens over and over and over again.

At about p. 375 something interesting happens but ultimately lets you down with an anticlimactic finish where the girl says "Oh the vampire is soooooo gorgeous!" Then the vampire replies with, "No, you can't like me because I'm a vampire. I'm a good vampire but I might get tempted to bite you."

This book is possibly the lamest thing I have ever read in my life. Not only is it a terrible attempt to rip-off the brilliant "Buffy" series, it is also 300 pages too long.

I'll read the second book because I'm hoping it'll improve...I've been informed that it doesn't. Ugh.

2. How I Paid For College: A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship, and Musical Theatre
**1/2

An amusing book. It's an easy read but ultimately lacks any real depth. If you enjoy coming of age stories it's probably worth a look.

3. Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass,Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office ***

Sex and the City meets Bridget Jones Diary meets David Sedaris meets Roseanne. Fun, hilarious read and surprisingly inspirational.

4. Lovely Bones ****

Amazing. One of the best novels I've ever read. Destined to be a classic.

I'm currently reading Angels and Demons because I want to keep up my reading streak. Please feel free to comment or recommend some good books to me!

OMG This Guy Is SOOO Funny!

Wow, this guy is funny. It does not suprise me AT ALL that he is so successful. He is just so funny. Watch this clip and laugh your pants off!! If he were any funnier he wouldn't be human. He is just THAT funny. So talented and witty. I wish I were as funny as he is. Just watch this and you will know what I mean!




Seriously though, he makes me want to pry my eyes out with an AIDS infected steak knife.

This is just too funny.

Really?

Is this video serious? Cause I found it rather humorous.

Click Here For Video

Digging through the archives.

I came back to Columbus today for a short visit and decided to go rummaging through some of my old school papers, pictures, etc. I wanted to find some old reviews of shows that I was in to put them up on my website. I was looking through one particular box and I came across a story that I wrote in the 4th grade. It was odd because it had a cardboard cover that had been wrapped in some type of paper. It almost looked like it had been wrapped in wall paper, a very hideous wallpaper. So I pulled it out and opened it up and inside was a bio and picture of me from the fourth grade. Here is what the bio said:

Travis Smith is nine years old. He lives in Pickerington, Ohio. His favorite food is spaghetti, chicken, pizza, and steak. He likes to read.

Oh, and picture that bio written in 4th grader cursive.

On the first page was a picture of me under the title: Heroes. Below the picture was written the words: By Travis Smith. The next page was a dedication to my parents and the name of the publishing company and copyright: Smith Publishing Co. Copyright 1989.

Then came the story. All punctuation and grammar has been retained for authenticity.

Once there lived a kitten with her mom in the town dump. His father had died of pain and starvation because his foot became caught in a bear trap. The momma went out one day to get the baby some fish from the market. Unfortunately, when the kitten's mom reached the middle of the road the light turned green. And the kitten's mom got ran over and died. The pound found the little kitten. There were three kittens, and four puppies and one dad and mom in the pound. The puppie's names were Grounder, Ruff, Sam, and Misty. The kitten liked Sam the best. She had to get out of the pound because in a month she would have to get a shot and that means death. That night the cat took a deep breath and squeezed through the bars. And the door opened the next morning, ZOOM! The cat escaped And he started running then he bumped into a pit bull. "Rrrrr," growled the dog. The cat got out of there in a flash. And the pit bull started chasing it. At that time a man just broke of of jail. It was on the news the he was one of the worst robbers in the jail. The pit bull was still chasing the cat. She jumped over the fence . And sitting in the grass were two cocker spaniels. The cat's hair flew up. The two dogs started chasing the cat. "Scat," said a man to the two dogs The man picked up the cat by its tail. "Let me have her" said his wife. Will I have to go to the bakery dear "said the man." Why don't you take the cat "said the woman." Well...okay "the man said." When they got there he threw the cat on the table. And sitting on the table with her was a dog. They began to fight. When the man noticed they were in a fight he stopped them. The robber was on their street now. He was getting hungry. The dog and cat were out playing. The robber noticed the bakery. He went inside all dressed up in black you couldn't see his face it was covered too. "Give me all your money." O my said the man." A man named Jermy Thomas was in the restroom. He came out saw the robber. So he went out the back door. the dog and cat came through the front door shoot. Then they noticed the man. They both jumped on him and started biting him and scratching him. The man fell down and was injured. The police came in and took the man away. How did you know he was here? A man by the name of Jeremy Thomas told us. "Well thanks alot," said the man. And for the dog and cat they were heroes.

WTF? Did I seriously write this crap? Why is it so violent and depressing. I must have been going through a phase. There are also illustrations throughout the book. Let me just say, they are HIDEOUS. I do have to admit though, my grammar and spelling isn't half-bad. Granted, I start far too many sentences with "And". I also mess up the quotations a few times. It's kind of amusing because I get them backwards. But ultimately, what is this story about? It doesn't really make a whole lot of sense. I'm not sure what the grade was. The book hasn't been written in at all. None of the grammatical or spelling errors have been fixed. Regardless, I found it amusing and I hope you did too.

Watch if you dare.

First off I wanted to say that I completely forgot about Charlie Wilson's War in my top 10 list. It would have been up there somewhere. Alas, too late to change it now. But it's a great satire, check it out. I also watched The Mist recently which I enjoyed thoroughly.

Anyways, this is just gross. Gross, gross, gross.